Friday, February 11, 2011

My heart is broken.

I've debated if I should share here about some recent events and I've decided to because I need support. I really want this blog to be a "happy" place where you can find inspiration, share, nothing heavy. However, I believe in the power of prayer, and I'm asking for some from you (if you are the praying kind).

My husband and I have tried to have a baby for about six years. It has been a long and frustrating journey. Last month I found out I was pregnant. We were over the moon but decided to hold off on spreading the news since I was already spotting. We had an ultrasound yesterday that confirmed it was an ectopic pregnancy. Over the next few days, I will lose the baby.

Nothing can prepare a person for this. I know I'm not the only one who has struggled with infertility but to be on this roller coaster and then have this as our outcome is heartbreaking.

Another reason for sharing this is I've always been the type of person to struggle alone. I don't want to burden anyone and I've always had the mentality that I can tough it out by myself. I finally realized that I can't. I need support.

So, this is the reason for my break from the blog. I hope to come back to it soon because I love to share but right now I'm not ready.

44 comments:

Jennifer said...

i love you and am praying for you. hugs hugs hugs.

Jess said...

I will keep you in my prayers. We all have more strength than we can imagine when we need to.

judy said...

So very sorry, Heather, to hear about
your sad news. I will keep you in
my prayers. Take the time you need
to grieve and take care of yourself.

GabrielaD said...

I am so sorry.... I will keep you in my prayers.

Jannette said...

I am sending you a big hug and faith. Faith to believe that there is a beautiful plan for you and your husband and this is a very hard step. I will put you in my prayers,

ninasays said...

Oh boy :( I'm so sorry for you both. I hope you will give each other the strength you need now. Thinking of you and sending hugs!

Joy said...

Oh Heather, my heart breaks for both you and your husband, I cannot imagine what you must be going through and what you are expecting to go through the next few days and months. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs your way!

Carla said...

Oh Heather, I can't stop thinking about you! Its SO hard to go through something like this but I promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel :)

Elena said...

Heather, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know there are lots of people thinking and praying for you in this time of difficulty. --Elena

dustypenny (Joy) said...

I'm so sorry, Heather. That must be extremely difficult and you are courageous to ask for support. Take good care of yourself. Sending hugs.

Lauren L. said...

You are right that you are not alone in this but I know it doesn't make it any easier. I will keep you in my thoughts as you work through this. Sending lots of happy thoughts and good vibes your way.

Laurel said...

Oh Heather. I sent you an email. My prayers are with you during this difficult time. I know exactly how you feel. Praying for you to have peace and understanding.

One Scrappy Gal said...

Oh Heather, I'm so sorry. I will pray that God puts his loving arms around you and helps you through this difficult time.

♥Wendi said...

Oh, you poor sweet thing. I know how sad this time is for both you and your husband. I am praying that you will find strength and assurance in each other, knowing that God has an amazing plan for you.

laura vegas said...

i am so very sorry heather. i know how hard you've been trying for this, and i can't imagine what you're going through right now. my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Judy1223 said...

Heather, be assured of my daily preayers and thoughts for you and your husband. I truly believe God answers prayers...know that across the country people are praying for your intentions and our loving God will hear them all.

Ashley Nguyen Newell said...

I don't think you're ever burdening anyone when you share a piece of yourself. I think there's bravery in sharing your grief. And I've found that when I've reached out, people were always open to listening and offering comfort.

I'm so sorry for your loss! I went through a period where I was unsure that my body could carry a pregnancy and it was so very hard on me. Though it's not the same as what you're going through, maybe we had some of the same thoughts? My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you. Hugs!

Heather said...

my heart (an prayers) go out to you. I too struggled with inferetility -- it is a sisterhood that no one wants to belong to, but know there are women out there who truly share your frustration and pain. I will continue to keep you in my prayers...

Suzanne said...

Remember that God never gives you anything you can't handle. God must know you can handle this terrible loss. You will one day see your baby. You will be able to help others that go through what you are now. Keep strong and keep God close. You and your husband are in my prayers!

Mrs. Vincent said...

I've been thinking about you since I read this post! I can't even imagine how you feel but I'll be thinking about you.

Sara said...

I'm so sorry Heather. Sending you lots of love & will keep you in my prayers.

Nathalie said...

I am very sorry to hear your sad news - it seems so unfair. I have 2 lovely stepdaughters, but when I decided I wanted to have a child myself, I went through a very difficult number of years. We now have a little boy who is 3. We had several miscarriges, and since I also had epilepsy, my seizures caused a lot of complications as well. I remember crying every month when my period came. This is not an easy thing to live with. I remember people trying to gloss over the situation or tell me that it would happen once I stopped thinking about it all the time, and it made me really angry. I never gave up. I am thinking of you and I am glad you shared. You are not alone. I am sending you my love and some hope if you need it.

luvmysilhouette said...

OH Heather, I am soooooo sorry to hear this very sad news You and Your Husband will be in my Prayers... Huge Hugs My Friend...xoxoxo

Deneen said...

Praying for you! I am so very sorry. If you ever need to talk, vent or cry I will be here to listen for you my friend!

stamping sue said...

I am so sorry. I, too keep to myself but loosing a baby is tramatic. I lost a son (grown) a few years ago. It is tough going but the pain does subside in time. know all of us here will keep you in our thoughts.
http://stampingsueinconnecticut.blogspot.com/

Susan said...

So sorry to hear about your sad news. I will be thinking of you.

walchowDesign said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your lost and my prayers are with you! Big hugs to you!

Ayana Posadas said...

I'm so, so sorry, Heather.
I just read your post and I got chills. Your blog is always so happy and cheerful to look at. I may not always get the time to comment, but I do follow you and I LOVE your work. I hope you are doing well. I will keep you in my thoughts, for sure.
Big Hugs to you and your husband!

charli said...

Oh, Heather, so sorry to hear this...it will take lots of time to feel better. I imagine it will never fully heal, but that means that you are a mother at heart. Wishing you peace and health and strength. Hugs, Charlene

Anonymous said...

You and your husband are in my prayers.

Ann

Mary Kay said...

Oh Heather, I am so sorry to hear this. Know you are in my prayers. hugs and more hugs

Heather Innusa said...

I'm so sorry :(. I've been there too (miscarriage). I went through such sadness afterwards, I definately morned that little 11 weeker. I was 'lucky' to have a few friends who had been there too & kept in close contact & offered me love & support.

I think its good for you to share about this. You need the love & support. I honestly started blogging, in part, stretch my prayer wings & to spread my thoughts/prayers to people out here in blogland & I really appreciate the opportunity to pray for you. Noone should have to struggle alone (even though I totally know you're not alone, this can make you feel like that - like nothing else). One piece of advise, don't isolate yourself, even if that's your first instinct. Whatever you do, it makes it harder later.

Praying so many blessings on you, Heather - for strength, healing, hope, and love (among other things). God Bless.

Brenda said...

Dearest Heather, I will keep you close to my heart and in my thoughts. I am so sorry...Lots of love to you and your husband.

ivy said...

i am just reading about this now and i am sorry for what you & your husband is going through....thinking of you during this difficult time and sendng hugs.

Winter said...

Praying for God to give you and your husband,strength and comfort in this difficult time!

Brenda said...

I am very sorry. It is so brave to reach out. I hope you are feeling the caring arms reaching back.
Again, so sorry...

Sharon D from Canada said...

Heather, I am so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers.

DominoDebi said...

Dearest Heather, I've been there, and my heart goes out to you. I'm praying for you. Many, many hugs.

pcm said...

I am glad that you chose to share this very sad and difficult time in your life. I got to this post by way of your new upload to the hero arts flickr group so i will say welcome back and i hope that means that some healing is beginning.

Steph Mitchell said...

I have just found your blog via Jennifer McGuire's post about your w'end together.
A true friend will never feel burdened by your sharing your difficulties. I hope and pray that your dreams will come true when the time is right.

jen said...

Hi there, I just found your wonderful blog throught Jennifer McGuires blog. I read this sad news and I'm so sorry for your loss. My nephew and his wife have been trying to have a baby and the first time around she lost the baby around two months and then they got the exciting news a few months later that she was expecting again and waited until she was about 4 months before the told anyone and everything was going great and on Jan 24th 2011 she was 6 months pregnant and lost her baby. She had to deliver the baby and it was the sadest day ever for all of us. Keep your head held high God has a plan for you and your husband. I know this doesn't make it easier for you to hear this but I just want you to know your not alone. Hang in there and I will pray for you. On a good note I'm very excited to have found your wonderful blog. I would love for you to stop by and visit my blog sometime. jennyscards.blogspot.com
hugs,jen

Nancy B said...

I am so sorry. Hugs and prayers to you.

I'm a Crafty Diva said...

I found your blog through Jennifer McGuire's after your wknd away crafting, had to check out the talents of those crafting with her ya know!! I've read some of your blog, and with tears in my eyes, know that someone in MN is also praying for you! I can empathize, but each person's pain is different, and how each person deals with it all is unique as well. So, very simply...prayers to you from a "believer" who cares.

Tina said...

I too have you in my prayers though we do not know each other. I went through a VERY similar situation and through our faith we now have 3 teenagers. I do not know where you are but if you email me I will tell you who I used and if you would like to call me I will give my number
"Where there is more than one...."